Freeze! Step away from the froggy mug, Sarah. I said step away! The rest of your life will depend on what you do right now, so I suggest you choose wisely.
Good, now listen. This isn’t what it looks like. Okay, so it’s exactly what it looks like — I’m…
BRUCE, a surfer
NURSE, a nurse
PASSERBY, a graduate student at the University of Melbourne studying marine biology and drama, who dreams of being the world’s foremost television shark scientist, sort of a cross between Jacques Cousteau and Kim Kardashian, only richer and sluttier.
CORONER, a coroner
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
* Groovy keyboard bassline *
Hot and sunny, and you don’t know what to do?
Hot and sunny, don’t melt into a puddle of goo!
Hot and sunny, and there’s no reason to stall.
Hot and sunny, why wait when you can have it all?
Welcome. You can take that mask off; we’re all vaccinated h — Oh. Well, leave it on if you prefer. I wouldn’t want you to feel unsafe for your big interview. It’s good to meet you.
What? You’re not comfortable shaking hands? I’m afraid that will not do.
Tommy the Unicycle creaked and wobbled back and forth as he wheeled into the classroom. He looked around nervously. The walls were festooned with alphabet posters and handprint art, but tonight the desks had been pushed to the side to make room for a small menagerie of critters conversing in…
That is the 4 AM question
Hello everybody! Welcome to “To Pee, or Not to Pee?” the game show that dares to ask … is it worth getting out of bed to take a leak? Let’s find out!
Our first contestant is Bob, an IT consultant from California —…
I’ve always been a natural skeptic. I like hard science and reproducible evidence, and, despite eight years of Catholic school, I stopped believing in religion many years ago. While I try to keep an open mind, mystical woo like chakras, crystals, and spirit guides makes my eyes roll — but…
If the true measure of a hero is one who runs toward danger, then Sara “Buzzy” Bumble is indisputably a hero.
And like many heroes, she is also modest.
“I don’t know,” she told reporters. “I just did what any bumblebee would.”
Buzzy was out foraging for nectar when she…
Yo MAGA so fat, her Hoveround has a “black licorice matters” sticker on it.
Yo MAGA so dumb, when they swabbed her nose the Q-tip came out her ear.
Yo MAGA so nasty, she doesn’t hoard toilet paper, she just reuses it.
Yo MAGA so poor, she calls panhandling working…